From Losing Passion to Finding Purpose...
My Journey Back to
Creativity
My journey on YouTube and content creation in general started a long time ago. I actually posted my first ever YouTube video on Mar 24, 2012. I was 12 years old, and showing how to install a mod for Minecraft. From then on, I was very inconsistent with content creation. I would have months where I make videos, then quit, months where I’d be a streamer, then quit. Sometimes I’d actually start seeing results, but still in the end… I’d quit. I believe the reason for the inconsistency was due to having ADHD, which I was diagnosed with when I was around 8 years old. I never felt like I could stick to one thing; I’d either get bored or think I had a better opportunity elsewhere. Leading to having A LOT of hobbies.
I found myself spending most of my days in my garage working on music, a new hobby I picked up at the time. Constantly wishing I could be doing it full-time instead of the daily tasks I was already avoiding from my construction company. As I was having these feelings, I thought to myself, might this actually mean something? Is there a reason why I am dreading the thought of doing anything but this right now? I think in that moment, I realized that my construction company wasn’t what I was meant to do.
My recent return to content creation started after a big life pivot for me. For the last 5 years, I ran a construction company, but over time, I realized I was losing the passion I once had for it. It started to feel like I was just going through the motions, and my emotions were going to a very dark place.
I began researching, reading, and exploring whether there was a way to discover my true passion. One of my biggest goals in life was to do something that excites me every time I wake up in the morning. Only realizing I might’ve lost track of that until now, I didn’t want to waste any more time than I already had following a path that didn’t lead to that happiness and fulfillment.
As I am sitting there in my garage, thinking what the heck am I going to do with my life, how can I truly find happiness… What is it that I truly have enjoyed that fits with all the hobbies I’ve explored in my life? I started to think of a bunch of creative things I do; I’ve always loved to create. The one issue, creativity isn’t easy to start a career in. This might’ve been why I started my construction business in the first place; maybe I liked creating the business, just not the construction aspect of it. I started to consider the idea of following my creative interests and using YouTube to build my personal brand, and be a way to support that creative journey. That’s when the memories flooded in of my failed past attempts at being a content creator.
But then I started to remember myself at 20 years old, with a really well-paying job for my age, security for an extremely successful career, and not much capital in my bank account. I took that leap, started my business, not knowing what would happen or how it would go, and from that day, I have been self-employed ever since. I’m pretty much in the exact same position as 20-year-old me, just 5 years older… Why am I contemplating taking this leap now? Why not do it, see what happens, and make the most of it?
I grabbed my camera, recorded a video expressing the feelings, my goals, and my plans I had in that moment, and posted the video to YouTube. I wanted that video to remind myself of where I was when I started this journey, what I was feeling, compared to how I feel in that moment as I rewatch it. As I write this, I haven’t made a dime from content creation, but I do know, for once in my life, I truly feel that I am on the path to achieving my goal. Because every day I’ve opened my eyes since, I’ve been excited.
Interested in following my journey?
I have created a blog where I share my thoughts daily, whether they’re good or bad.
I started handwriting this for myself, but I decided to share it publicly in case it can help someone else. It’s not polished, nor written with the thought of others reading, but it’s raw, true, and possibly relatable.